Friday, October 24, 2008
Nice looking couple, huh? My oldest daughter and her husband, a match made in Hell and finally she sees that.
After five long, painful years of beatings, betrayals, isolation, control and emotional torment, she has finally seen the light, but at what price did this eureka moment come?
Three years ago, he came home one night drunker than Cooter Brown after spending the weekend with his "kids" in South Georgia, leaving my daughter and her children alone. He brought a hand made hickory club with him and my daughter was awakened by him beating her with the club. He nearly killed her. Thankfully, my granddaughter called 911 while hiding in her closet, terrified.
He was arrested, tried and placed on three years felony probation, with a warning from the judge that if he ever came before his bench again for beating my daughter, he would spend five years in prison.
Why do women insist that their love and understanding will change a violent, abusive controll freak?
Over the last three years, my daughter has been repeatedly beaten, slapped, kicked, punched, been tossed around like a rag doll and held a virtual prisoner in her home- make that HIS home, as he is so quick to remind her daily.
She began drinking to ease her pain and to endure the isolation from her family and friends. Not a good choice. She is now a raging alcoholic, and still a punching bag for him.
A few months ago he moved his son down to their house, and after a fight he started, my daughter left, drunk, got arrested for a DUI and he left her sitting in jail. Her friend bailed out after three days. She came to my house, stayed a few days, moved in with her brother for a couple of weeks, and in the meantime, he kicked my daughter's oldest son (19) out of his house because my grandson dared to call him on bringing his girlfriends home and laying up with them in his mother's bed.
Two weeks after that, she went back to him. I don't get it. But, it gets better. Over the next month, she was beaten a total of fifteen times, in front of her kids, and his. My grandchildren are so selfish that they begged their mother not to leave this animal just so they could stay around their friends. Never mind the lessons those kids were learning, never mind the beatings their mother was taking.
A month later, he moves his ex wife into their home. Supposedly, she and their son would be moving into their own place in a couple of weeks.
Oh, but the insanity gets better. He began hitting the bar every night, most nights not even bothering to come home. He quit buying groceries, telling my daughter those were her kids and her responsibility, not his. Nice guy, huh?
Last Friday night it all came to a head. He'd been gone for about a week straight, staying with his ex and their son. His ex came to the house, told my daughter that she needed to get out for awhile and took her to a bar. Yeah, an alcoholic in a bar, smart move, but she went.
After all this time my daughter has zero self-respect, self esteem or the will to do the right thing.
The ex introduced her to a 'friend' of hers and then after a few hours of drinking, took my daughter and the 'friend' back to my daughter's house.
Now, one thing my daughter isn't is promiscuous. She doesn't sleep around; fear of AIDS stops that, and hopefully she still has at least a shred of self-respect.
So her and the 'friend sat in the den with two of my grandkids and their friends and listened to music.
Not suprising to me at least, the husband comes raging in and pounds on the 'friend' runnning him off and then starts on my daughter.
He beats her savagely, then leaves after my grand daughter THREATENS to call the cops.
Forty-five minutes later he comes back and starts in on her again. When he is through, she has two cracked ribs, two black eyes, multiple contusions and a handful of her hair is lying on the carpet.
And my granddaughter, finally calls the cops. Unbeknownst to him, his ex or even my daughter, my granddaughter has videoed the second beating and when the cops arrive, she shows it to them.
Mr. Mister now has a warrant for his arrest for felony domestic battery, violation of probation and he's staring hard at five years in prison, which to me isn't nearly long enough.
Am I happy that finally she will be away from him? I wish I could be, but I know that if my grand daughter hadn't videoed that last beating, my daughter would go back to that bastard.
I don't understand. I will never understand. Do you?