I have a major complaint. Okay, so its mostly major only to me, but hey, it's my blog!
Are you watching American Idol this season? I am, and I'm here to tell you it is painful in the extreme.
It looks to me as though America is fast running out of real talent, and what we are left with is now on Idol.
Okay, granted, there are some pretty decent singers on there, namely, Lakisha Jones, Jordin Sparks, Melinda Dolittle on the girl side and Blake Lewis, Brandon Rogers, Chris Sligh, Jared Cotter, Phil Stacy and Sundance Head, but sadly none of them, so far, have even come close to Carrie Underwood, or Taylor Hicks or Chris Daughtry.
I'm watching just to see if I can find that spark of fire the above named winners showed, but so far, zilch.
Now, I may change my tune as we progress farther into the show, but for now, I can't even find one I want to vote for.
I suppose the judges, with the exception of one that is, know what they are doing, but this season is just not up to par with the previous seasons.
Which brings me to my real complaint; PAULA ABDUL.
Why in the bloody blue hell Fox and the Idol producers don't axe that one is beyond me.
How did they come to the conclusion that a choreographer, a one hit wonder, could actually be a good judge of talent?
She contradicts everything Simon says, and most of what Randy says. The two guys, both music moguls know talent when they see it, or rather see and hear it, but Paula is worthless as far as I can see.
She offers no constructive criticism to these would be stars, preferring to lie to them and tell them they are truly talented. How does that help them to improve their games? It doesn't. It gives them a false sense of their abilities, and when the truth comes crashing in on them in the form of harsh criticisms or rejections, I can assure you they aren't going to thank Paula for her flattery.
I would much prefer Simon's blunt critique or Randy's oft times apologetic criticism to Paula's smarmy flattery any day.
And one other thing, I get so sick and tired of watching her slump farther and farther down in her seat as the show progresses and her speech becomes more and more slurred, her eyes blearier. She needs to start putting Coke in that glass and Coke alone!!

Lake COunty Judicial System- Sorely Lacking!!!

Am I the only one who thinks that the Lake County Sheriff's Office went just a wee bit overboard yesterday?
How did they ever come to the conclusion that an eleven year old with a homemade slingshot was a weapons wielding, menace to society? What's wrong with this picture?
I would be willing to bet any amount of money that at least one, if not more of the arresting officers in this case not only had slingshots as children, but actually shot one of their friends with it. So, when does a childish prank become a second degree felon and why?
Trust me, there are far more dangerous criminals wandering around Lake County than an eleven year old with a home made slingshot. If convicted of this "crime" this boy could face, what a couple of years in juvie? How stupid is that?
I'll tell you, Lake County has some serious issues with crime and punishment, and I know this first hand.
Let me give you a for instance. In Jan. of 2006, a 31 year old ,married, father of two young girls, was arrested for an L&L Battery on a child under the age of 16.
When questioned by the Sheriff's deputies, he made the statement that he didn't know how old the girl was, he thought she was maybe eleven or twelve! Eleven or twelve! He has an eleven year old daughter, and he thought the girl he had sex with was the same age as one of his daughters.
Okay, skip ahead. It is discovered that this man not only had sex with this child, who has some emotional problems, but he set the whole thing up on the computer, via emails and IMs.
So, he is arrested, and bails out. The States Attorney, Jonathan Olsen, tells the parties involved that he will serve prison time for this, even though the young girl in question admitted it was consensual sex. Okay, that works.
In the meantime, both children are removed form the home, the wife is told that she either move away from this man or lose custody of her daughter, while the oldest daughter is removed as well, but not given to her mother, who had some problems of her own.
Okay, so Mom moves out, so she can have her daughter with her, but the other child, well, let's just say that Lake County in its infinite wisdom chose to place the oldest daughter with the paternal grandparents, who happened to live right next door to the father. Kind of defeats the whole removal process, doesn't it? Bear in mind that the father has been denied the right to have his children with him during the duration of the criminal case, and is not permitted to visit with them except in the presence of a DFACS worker.
In March, Guardians Ad Litem were appointed to both girls. The Guardian's purpose is to represent the children in cases like this, and with their help, the oldest daughter was eventually given to her mother, after exhaustive investigation and home visits.
The father was then allowed supervised visits with both girls. But, the catch for that was, the mothers had to drive to the appointed place at the time specified by DFACS, and they were not allowed to be with their children while these visits took place, under the, umm, "careful supervision" of a case worker.
From March until late September, these visits took place, and always at the father's convenience. The mothers in this case were never considered, nor were the wishes of the girls. The oldest girl did not want to see her father, you see the girl he had sex with was one of her friends. She was disappointed, she lost all respect for her father, she was clearly upset over the whole sordid mess, and all she wanted was to be left alone, to live her life with her Mother in relative peace and quite.
But, DFACS, in their infinite wisdom made it abundantly clear that was not to be. The oldest daughter, as well as the mother of the youngest daughter was constantly reminded that should the father receive only probation in this case, the family would be re-unified. Meaning quite simply that the girls would be returned to their father. The same man who admitted to having sex with a child.
While all of these forced visits were taking place, the criminal case against the man stalled out. His attorney asked for and was granted one continuation after another for a full year. A year!
Phone calls to the State's Attorney did little to assure those involved that justice would indeed be served. Those involved were repeatedly assured that the perp would indeed serve a prison sentence, and you know what? They lied.
Finally, after a year, the man was given two years probation! Two years probation! He was registered as a sex offender and he voluntarily gave up all rights to his children so he doesn't have to pay a single dime of child support for either child.
So answer me this? What's wrong with the justice system in Lake County? We've all read or heard on the news about the men who only solicited sex with minors over the web and received thirty-five years in prison, and this guy not only admitted to having sex with this minor, but to also setting up the date over the Internet and he gets two lousy years probation and has no responsibility to the two children he fathered.
This decision was ludicrous and personally, I think Olsen dropped the ball on this. Lake County is NOT a safe place for our children when the powers that be allow an admitted child molester to walk free, but want to try and convict an eleven year old for a childish prank. Those who voted this man into office need to start a recall petition!
As matter of fact, the whole system in Florida is screwed up, but that's for another day!

Well, after a very trying and interesting weekend and start to the week, I am happy to be back here blogging.
Had to spend three days in the hospital and I have to tell you all that it was zero fun!
First things first though, I want to say that Florida Hospital Waterman is one of the finest hospitals in the Central Florida area. The staff are extremely competent and caring. The doctors attentive and professional, but warm and friendly and the food actually wasn't bad. Not good, mind you, but not as bad as some I've had.
Waterman Hospital is state of the art with medical testing equipment and diagnostics. And I for one am glad they are.
I went to the emergency room after what I perceived to be a heart attack. I was taken directly into the treatment area and hooked up to an EKG machine., and form there it progressed smoothly and with a minimal amount of discomfort and fear.
Those doctors and nurses, lab techs, respiratory therapists, x-ray techs and nuclear med techs are wonderful people and I came away with a new found respect for the Doctors and Nurses at Florida Hospital.
Any, way I am happy to report that I am in good health, my heart is in good shape and my problem stemmed from nothing more than beta blocker BP meds!
For those of you on BP meds, if you develop a cough, be sure to ask your doctor if your BP meds could be the cause. You just never know!

So, after much mental anguish and trying to decide if I had the guts to try it, I have taken the bull by the horns and decided to do a virtual book tour for Dark Ridge.

The tour will begin on March first and run through the thirty first- I hope- if I can line up enough participants.

Anyway, so far, no dates are set , so keep checking back.

Linda: Jamieson, welcome to Reading Rucker. I am so pleased that you decided to add me to your tour.

Jamieson: Thank you so very much for having me Linda. It's been so much fun going on tour!

Linda: I was very intrigued with Hope Falls, so tell me, Jamieson, what gave you the idea to do a soap opera?

Jamieson: Well, I touch a little bit about this on in the Introduction to Electric Pink. A few years back, I was watching the Emmys. The woman who has played Alice Horton on Days of Our Lives since the beginning of the show as recieving a life time achievement award. I was thinking to myself: Man, she really HAS been on the show her entire lifetime. I also knew she had a lifetime contract...


The next day, I was walking home and thought to myself, what if you really WERE on a show for a lifetime. What if your contract really was for your life itself; what if a studio owned you? And what would happen if your ratings dropped? And thus Hope Falls was born.

I started doing a serial novel set up for this because I looked at Hope Falls like an emil soap opera. A chapter, or an episode if you will, a day. And the rest wrote itself. :)


Linda: Do you find it difficult to keep the storyline for each character fresh and new?

Jamieson: I do somewhat. I've written three novels with the same characters and my new novel HUNTED features some characters from the origional trilogy. I find it a little difficult to make sure that all the characters don't sound the same and that their storlines, while intertwining, don't become too confused.

It was a good challenge though. I wanted to see if I could write a daily email soap that would be fun and could make fun of itself, but still keep a dark edge. It's hard when you're basically writing a first draft on the fly with little to no time for editing and putting it out there for readers every day. But I think that's part of the fun. It's a blast writing characters that are funny, human and parodies all at the same time.

Linda: What has been your biggest challenge in creating Hope Falls?

Jamieson: My biggest challenge? Odd as it may sound, maintaining realism. Sure, the characters have bad dialogue, steamy love scenes, and some really funny parts, but I had to ground the novel in reality, even though it's essentially a parody of soap operas and all that they stand for. This was no easy feat.


Hopefully, I pulled it off.

The other challenge was continuing to write. Hope Falls was my third serial novel that I had written, but it was the first one that I kept grounded in reality, outside of the fantasy realm. I love writing fantasy because it's easy to do; you can do anything you want, change the rules, put characters in whatever world works for you. But with realism, even just the basic realism of a soap opera, you have to keep it grounded.

Linda: What are your hopes for Hope Falls? Are you looking for an agent? Will this become a book or are you aiming for television?

Jamieson: Well, Hope Falls is currently under option by The Friday Project. I've submitted three drafts to them now and I should hear something. Hopefully something good. *crosses fingers*


I've been wanting to develop Hope Falls for television for some time. I think it would be the next Hot Canadian Soap Opera! I mean, a soap that makes fun of soaps, with a dark, twisted edge to it? What's not to love? I figure I'll focus on it being published as a book before I focus on television. That's a bit of a ways away yet. :)

Linda:Tell us about your new book, Garden City.

Jamieson: Jamieson: GARDEN CITY is a book of collected fiction. The stories actually span my entire writing career and, without really know it, I set all the stories in the same place.
Founded by the Goddess of Time, Garden City is a sprawling city metropolis that is home to more than concrete and glass. Roaming it's streets are ghosts, spirits, Goddesses, the Three Fates and, perhaps most importantly, Magic.There are 20 fictions collected in GARDEN CITY and in each story, we see a little bit of different lives.There's Owen Wolfe who stumbles upon a grisly murder involving magic. There's Kimberlee, who is claimed as a bride by a statue come to life. Or Nancy, a young woman who meets the Goddess of the Fae in a city park.But there are others who live in Garden City as well. There is Poppy who is able to turn into a Crow after a mysterious dream. There is Alex who prolongs his life by out running the Three Fates; Hillary who disappears while on assignment for a reality TV show. A woman named Miriam disappeared on the thirteenth floor of Edison Tower.Magic comes in many forms and can effect lives in so many different ways. GARDEN CITY is like a dozen of lives, all happening at the same time. Look at Garden City like a bouquet of flowers: beautiful, but with sharp thorns.

Linda: I have to tell you, I absolutely loved your trailer for Garden City. Can't wait to read it.

Jamieson: And I really hope you enjoy it. I had so much fun making the book trailer. It's a good way to promote your books and your work to those who are more visual people. I've even created a trailer for Electric Pink. They're great to get people interested and they're just so darn fun to make.


You can view my book trailer for GARDEN CITY here:

GARDEN CITY: A Book Trailer http://beta.photoshow.com/watch?sc=fQ3Df7mt&cid=12



Linda: So, what's next for Jamieson Villeneuve? What dark and dangerous tales do you have in store for us?

Jamieson: I have a few works in progress, actually. I'm currently working on my sixth serial novel called HUNTED and my second serial novella called SECOND SIGHT. As well, I'm working on a book of non-fiction called WATCHING THE ROSE BLOOM. I also just finished a children's novel titled THE GHOST MIRROR, so I'm working on the sequel titled THE SILVER GLASS and another children's book called CLEOPATRA AND THE CATS.

In HUNTED, we meet Susan Halliway. She has been an actress on the popular soap opera Hope Falls for thirty years and now, after leaving the show, a serial killer has singled her out. He is following an old storyline where young girls died and where Susan was the last victim. But nothing is as it seems and Susan must rely on others, especially that of ex-lover Derrick Madison, if she is to survive.

HUNTED is my current serial novel which you can read at the yahoo group. It's located here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hunted/

In SECOND SIGHT, we meet Sophie. She wakes up in a strange place that is all gray and desolate. She is covered in blood and she's not sure if it's all her own. Waiting for her is a woman named Wanda Mae who evades Sophie's questions with vague answers.

Wanda takes Sophie to meet Miriam, a woman from Sophie's past. A woman that Sophie distinctly remembers killing herself. But then Miriam tells Sophie the unthinkable: Sophie's life as she knew it was all a novel. It was all written by an author, all of her memories are his story and not real. When he decided to stop writing with her as a character, she was cast to the grey place; a burial ground for lost characters.

Will Sophie, Wanda, Miriam and even Alice from Alice in Wonderland ever find their way out? Or will the Shadows that stalk the streets at night find them before it's too late?

You can read SECOND SIGHT (and its predecessor AT FIRST GLANCE) at my blog which is located here: http://www.jamiesonwolf.blogspot.com/

WATCHING THE ROSE BLOOM is a collection of essays that take a personal look at Stephen King's Dark Tower Series. I have a free version up on my web site now, actually, with three essays. Each takes a look at different elements of the series. The finished book will have these three essays, plus an essay for each book and a new introduction and conclusion.

But in the meantime, feel free to check out the free version. You can do so by clicking here: http://jamiesonwolf.tripod.com/id4.html

Linda: I want to thank you for stopping by, Jamieson. Best of luck to you in all your endeavors.

Jamieson: You're very welcome Linda and thank you for having me!

Linda: Be sure to stop by Jamieson's website at:http://jamiesonwolf.tripod.com/ and please check out Hope Falls at: http://hope-falls.tripod.com/. And trust me, you're going to want to visit Jamieson's blog at: http://www.jamiesonwolf.blogspot.com/ and get involved in Jamieson's serial novel, " At First Glance"

I am pleased to announce that Author Jamieson Villeneuve, aka Jamieson Wolf will be appearing live here on Wednesday, January 17,2007 , just one stop on his whirlwind blog tour.
Those of you who do not of Jamieson's work are missing out on some spectacular reading.
Jamieson has penned several books, including his Electric series, "Electric Pink" and "Electric Blue".
His soap opera, Hope Falls, initially began as a serial novel, but quickly morphed into a series of novels, "Eagle Valley", Dragon's Cove," and now the spectacular "Hunted."
Take a tour of Hope Falls at: http://hope-falls.tripod.com and become acquainted with the townsfolk, browse through the available rentals and while you're there, stay at the beautiful Pine Valley Inn.
Once you meet the residents of Hope Falls, you'll want to call it home, but, beware. There are secrets in Hope Falls, secrets and danger, and its best not to get too chummy with the year round residents.

Jamieson also has a brand new serial novel out. "At First Glance" But, its only available on his blog! Click on the link or cut and paste into your browser the following address to read "At First Glance." http://www.jamiesonwolf.blogspot.com/

Be sure to check in on Wednesday for my exclusive interview with Jamieson Villeneuve!

Michael and I are working very hard to get W.H.A.T. up and running. We've sent out dozens of emails and announcements to various HIV/AIDS organizations and posted the information to several HIV/AIDS forums across the web.

We have a lot of friends with their own blogs who have graciously allowed us to post our group's intentions on their blogs and websites. Friends like Barbara Williamson -Wood, Dorothy Thompason, Sandy Lender, Laura Carwford, Joyce Anthony, Jeni Ertner, Ron Berry, Jamieson Villaneuve, and dozens of others.

I have utilized my blog on MySpace and I am currently working on a vidoe for YouTube. There is an awful lot of work involved in this, and while I'm not exactly surprised, I am a bit overwhelemd by the sheer volume of work involved.

I don't know what I thought, really. I guess I figured I would just post on the web that Mike and I were donating proceeds from the sale of our books to the fight against HIV/AIDS, but it has become increasingly clear that there is far more work involved. But, you know what? That's fine. I enjoy contacting peopple and getting thier take on our idea.

Very soon now, Mike and I will be accepting submissions for a series of e-books we are creating for sale, and all the proceeds from the sale of these books will be going to help those infected with HIV/AIDS and who can not, for whatever reason afford the necessary medications to survive.

We haven't decided yet exactly where this money will be sent, but we both agree it should be sent where ever there is the greatest need.

Mike and I are are eternally grateful for the support and assistance we are getting from a great many of our fellow writers. Folks like Dorothy Thompson, who is our e-book whiz kid, and Jeni Ertner who is posting about W.H.A.T. on an almost daily basis, to others like Jen Nipps, Sandy Lender and Schuyler Thorpe who lend a hand where ever they can.

The writing community is coming together in this fight, and the reading public is the one who will benefit, almost as much as those suffering from the diseases themselves. By getting other authors on board, we are introducing readers everywhere to some otherwise unknown and unbelievable talent; new and unpublished authors who might not otherwise ever have their books read.

W.H.A.T. actually serves a dual purpose, and while its primary goal is to help with HIV/AIDS relief, it will also draw attention to some truly remarkable authors.

So, please, take a monet to pass this information on to all of your friends. Feel free to blog about it, to copy this and other blog posts from reading rucker and be sure to pass on the link to our website:

www.freewebs.com/justsaywhat/

For more information on W.H.A.T. or if you just want to say,"Hi," please email Mike or I at:

justsay.what@yahoo.com

As with any worthwhile cause, it takes time and perserverence to get the word out about what we are trying to do. With your help, we will succeed and when we succeed, people infected with this deadly disease will have a chance at life.

Thanks,

Michael Witherspoon & Linda L Rucker

I'm pretty sure this picture is copyrighted and I'll probably get in a heap of trouble for using it, but these are just two of the faces of AIDS. I got this picture from PCEM which stands for Program Committee on Education for Mission. You can click on this link to go their website and read how they are working to educate people about this deadly disease.

http://www.ncccusa.org/missioneducation/aids/faces_of_aids.htm

I just wanted everyone out there to see that Gay men are not the only ones affected by this disease. Neither is it limited to adults. The faces of AIDS are many and varied. They could be your son, your daughter, your grandchild, your mother, your father, your sister, your brother. Anyone and everyone can be infected by this and is.

More than twenty years after the first cases of HIV/AIDS was diagnosed in this country, the numbers of infected have skyrocketed to alarming proportions.

From being the so called Gay plague or Gay disease, it has morphed into an equal opportunity infection , knowing no age or gender boundaries.

Now it is infecting our children, our babies, our teens, our adolescents. No one is immune to this disease.

Drugs have been developed that can control AIDS, but there is still, after more than twenty years, no cure, short of a plastic bubble.

No, it's not funny. We can stop the spread of AIDS by making just a couple of smart choices.

We can practice safe sex. Using a condom is an excellent way to prevent the spread of the disease, but it's certainly not foolproof. The surest way is abstinence, but lets face it, how many teenagers are willing to practice abstinence? How many adults? Very few.

So what is the answer? I don't know. I'm no scientist, or doctor.

From what I gather, teens are rapidly becoming the most infected in this country; with young blacks and Hispanics topping the list. But, all teens are at risk, and short of convents and monasteries, is there any way to stop these kids from having sex? No, not really. Remember when you were young?

'Nough said.

The only way to slow the spread of AIDS is through education and example. Practice safe sex, use a condom and try to remember that even condoms are not 100% effective against AIDS.

If you or someone you know even suspects they may have been infected, get tested immediately. Don't wait, go now.

Even if you test negative, further testing is needed at six month intervals to be certain. One can test negative for HIV today and six months later test positive. And in the meantime, how many others have you put at risk? How many other innocent people have you infected by your carelessness?

Don't think that it can't happen to you. I'd be willing to bet you that to a person, everyone in this country infected with HIV said the same thing.

How can you be 100% certain that your partner isn't infected? Because he/she is a doctor, a lawyer, makes no difference. Professional people do have sex, believe me, and for that matter alone they can be infected, and they can spread the disease to you.

Education is the only way to help prevent the spread of AIDS, but even that isn't a magic pill.

You may read up on the disease, know the risks, know how to protect yourself, but does your partner? What if you are in a monogamous relationship for a few years and you are completely comfortable in the knowledge that your partner is HIV free. Okay, so no more condoms, they're awful and time consuming and really not necessary in this relationship. Okay, nine out of ten time, that's perfectly accurate. But, what if your partner strays, just once, a one nighter that meant nothing, and you forgive him/her and resume your condom-less relationship. So what if your significant other's one nighter was infected with HIV and he/she didn't know? Now you both are infected. And who knows how many others?

This disease isn't going to go away by itself. Not without everyone worldwide becoming educated and practicing safe sex. But in reality, we all know that is about as likely as your mother-in-law growing a second head. Okay, bad analogy, but you get the picture.

All you can do is educate yourself and protect yourself and hope and pray that your partner does the same.

For the year 2007, 40% of the sale of every copy of "Dark Ridge" will be donated to AIDS relief. W.H.A.T. is gearing up for a full year of money making events to aid in the treatment of HIV/AIDS.

Look for e-books in the coming months that chronicle the disease and the real people who have lived with not only the disease, but the stigma of it. All proceeds from the sale of these e-books will go to HIV/AIDS relief.

You may purchase your copy of "Dark Ridge" from www.amazon.com, www.bn.com,

www.pagefreepublishing.com, or order it at any Borders, Hastings or B Dalton Booksellers, or any book retailers nationwide.

You may not think your small purchase will be of any real help in this fight, but believe me, every penny helps to provide medicine for those infected with this deadly disease.

And please remember, babies and small children are dying, and your contribution will help get much needed medicine to these children, and others who can not afford the medicine they need to keep living.

Thank you.

View full size

Dark Ridge: by LL Rucker, ISBN;1589614607 Available by order at: http://www.bn.com/,

http://www.amazon.com/, and at the PageFree Publishing website at: http://www.pagefreepublishing.com/

I put these links, and a picture of my latest book up here because I need your help. Well, that's not strictly true. I'm not the one who needs the help, at least not this time, all though I think this idea will benefit me as much as it does others.

Yesterday I watched the Oprah show and Bono was on there, as was Alicia Keys and Kanye West. Everyone who has ever heard of Bono knows that he is passionate about the AIDS pandemic in Africa, as we all, as human beings should be.

The AIDS virus has reached terrifying proportions in Africa and the number of infected is staggering.

Sub Sahara Africa bears the brunt of the AIDS epidemic with almost three quarters of the deaths from Aids in 2006 happening there, and nearly two thirds of those living there are infected with the AIDS virus.

UN AIDS sources report that there are over 39.5 million people now living with AIDS. Sources report that there were 4.3 million new HIV cases reported this year (2006) with 2.6 million of these new cases reported in Sub Saharan Africa.

In 2006 alone some 2.9 million died of AIDS related illnesses. 2.9 million people. That is the population of a moderate sized city. Imagination an entire city the size of Chicago wiped out in a single year.

The numbers are absolutely staggering, but even more frightening is the number of newly infected people. Women are becoming more at risk now because of unprotected sex . Men who use prostitutes, or have sex with other men, then go home to their wives and pass the deadly disease on to them.

Rape in the war torn countries in Africa have caused widespread AIDS among younger women and girls and even younger boys and men.

Below is a graff which shows the numbers we, as a world community are dealing with.

As you can plainly see, the numbers are staggering, but in Africa it has become very close to extinction level in it's spreading.

So, we have to help. We have to do something to try and stop the spread of this deadly disease.

With that in mind, I am trying to create a relief fund called, W.H.A.T. that will not only help those infected with this deadly disease, but also promote literacy as well, not to mention bring the talents of some wonderful writers to the attention of the world.

I am trying to form a group of writers to help me with this battle. I want to get as many self-published, or small press authors together, and offer portions of our royalties to the AIDS relief fund, either through Bono's Debt AIDS Trade Africa, or DATA, and/or through Oprah's Angel Network to keep a child with AIDS alive. The name of this group of dedicated authors is: W.H.A.T. which stands for: Writers Helping with AIDS Treatment.

Not many people actually know how much money an unknown author actually makes off their books.

In my case, I make $1.27 off of every book I sell. Not a huge amount by any stretch of the imagination. But, I don't write for the money, so much as for the story. However, this time, with this book, Dark Ridge, I AM doing it for the money.

My goal is to sell 100,000 copies of my book worldwide and I pledge fifty cents, approximately 40% from every copy sold to the AIDS Africa fund. That comes out to roughly $50,000.00 for medicine to keep children infected with AIDS in Africa alive.

I will instruct my publisher to cut a check for Bono's DATA or Oprah's Angel Network for that fifty cents per copy sold every quarter for a full year. That is my pledge to do my part to help keep the children, the mothers, of Africa alive and to provide as many of them with the necessary medicine as that fifty thousand dollars will supply.

Okay, so now I need your help. If you are a reader, please, go to one of the above websites and order DARK RIDGE. If you are a writer, self published or small press published and you want to extend a helping hand by contributing a portion of your royalties for a full year to this cause, please contact me at: writersforaidsrelief@yahoo.com

Please help. May your life be free of this deadly disease, and remember, but for the grace of your God, go you.

I wanted to comment about the recent execution in Florida and the hue and cry that has been raised about it.
Okay, granted, it was botched and the person or persons responsible for the error need to be re-assigned, but come on folks get real.
So it took the murdering scum thirty minutes and two doses of the lethal injection to die. Are we supposed to feel sorry for the guy? He took a life; coldly, brutally, and without remorse. He made children orphans, a spouse widowed and for what? A few lousy bucks? And we're supposed to get all weepy eyed and outraged because he took thirty minutes to die?
Sorry, I don't. I think we have shown enough humanity for these people by giving them lethal injections instead of making them ride the lightening, as Steven King so eloquently called it in the Green Mile. Old Sparky has been retired, and a kinder, gentler way of doing away with baby raping, child murdering scum has become the accepted norm.
Well, maybe not accepted, because there are still opponents of the death penalty on both sides of the aisle.
But, are we really expected to feed, clothe and house these idiots for the rest of their lives? Do we really have to provide them with cable TV, libraries, three hots and a cot, laundry service, an education, games, entertainment, and a myriad of other diversions, at our expense, while their victims and the victims families struggle daily to survive the heartbreak and the loneliness for the rest of their lives?
Bullbutter!! I have always maintained that the punishment should fit the crime and I still do. If some bastard rapes, tortures and murders a child, he dies, painfully and slowly would be best, but he dies regardless, and not in ten, or twenty years, but as soon as his appeals have been denied. And why should he be given ten twenty appeals. If the supreme court or the court of appeals says no, then he's done. Why try to garner sympathy from another court? Did that murdering bastard offer any sympathy for his victim or the victims family? Nope.
I, for one, am not willing to spend a single dime giving comfort to a murderer, or a drug dealer, who deals poison and death to children, or a kidnapper, who tortures an innocent or murders him because he might be able to identify him a few years down the road.
Terrorists, deserve no sympathy, and no lengthy prison sentence. Execute the bastards before they get the chance to take the lives of hundreds, if not thousands of Innocent people.
We, as a nation have become far too weak and wimpy in our own defense. Political correctness has all but crippled us and made us a nation of weaklings and whiners. We think it better to molly coddle suspected terrorists and make sure their rights are not violated, but give that same terrorist a bomb and see how much he will coddle us.
We have a right to bear arms, We have a right to protect our homes and our families, We have a right to the pursuit of happiness, and we have a right to expect to live in peace, unmolested.
I for one am not willing to let political correctness ever put my family or my way of life in jeopardy.

Is it just me, or have people lost their freaking minds? What on Earth would possess three intelligent men to actually set out to climb Mt. Hood in the freaking winter for crying out loud? Why would they put their families through that kind of hell and ruin the holidays for everyone who loves them?
I don't get it. I know folks climb mountains because they're there, but wouldn't it have made a hell of a lot more sense to wait until spring? Why do it now, in the the winter or actually the late fall, when they had to know the weather was iffy at best?
What was it that these three guys had to prove that couldn't wait until spring?
So, now we have friends and families waiting, praying and hoping that they will see their loved ones alive, and well, and all praying for a Christmas miracle, that sadly for one family will never come. And why? Because it was there? Is that sufficient reason to put your family and friends through this agony of waiting, hoping and praying? I can't see it.
NO matter how good a climber you are, no matter how experienced you think you are, Mother Nature is stronger and will not be denied. So why challenge her in this way?
All I can do is shake my head in amazement and send good thoughts to the families of the two remaining climbers.

What a world, what a world! Every morning when I get up, CNN is on. Hubby likes to watch that gal thats on there in the morning. Me, I prefer Diane Sawyer and the GMA folks, so I usually switch it over. Besides the world and national news, I get the local news as well, during the cut aways.

So, I live in Central Florida and I am amazed at how crime ridden Orange County and Orlando have become.

It is one murder after another, home invasions, rapes, robberies, assaults, you name it, crime wise and we have it here.

It just boggles my mind. When did Orange County and Orlando, the City Beautiful become such a crime mecca?

I guess it comes with the growth that has taken place over the last decade. Used to be, Orlando was a quiet, peaceful small town. Really, in comparason to Chicago or New York or L.A. it still is, but now, the crime here is worse than either of the aforementioned cities.

It's like the criminal network has sent out the word, move to central Floirda and wreak havoc. And they have.

No place is safe. Not any more. People have lost their minds. Lawlessness prevails and we have reached that dreaded state of Anarchy, at least here.

The cops are ineffectual, at best, at worst they're crooked and on the take. They are over worked and understaffed and are inadequate for the job before them. The criminals out number them by a thousand to one, at least.

And the decent law abiding folks who call this hell hole home, are the ones who suffer.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago, a man was gunned down in front of his house. A neighbor woman ran over to help the wounded man and was shot to death for her trouble. She did nothing but try to help another human being and this mother, this wife was gunned down in cold blood like she was nothing more than a paper target.

Yesterday a teenaged boy was attacked, robbed and stabbed by three other teenaged boys from his school. All four were, you guessed it Hispanic. Now, I'm not saying all the crime in Orlando and Orange County is committed by Hispanics, but if you go to the Orange County Department of Corrections website and peruse the names of the inmates, more than half are Hispanic.

Seriously, there was crime here, always has been. I mean let's face it, wherever there are human beings there is crime, but God, not like this! This alarming increase in crime has occurred in the last decade when Mexico decided it was all right to turn a blind eye to the criminals of its country fleeing justice to start all over again here in the States.

A lot of the immigrants from Mexico are decent, hard working people who only want a better life, but I'm beginning to believe that the vast majority of the border jumpers are the dregs of Mexican society fleeing justice in their own country, and Mexico seems to be just as glad to let them go. They have now become our problem and it's getting out of hand.

But, what can we do? Not much. As long as there are business owners, contractors and others willing to hire illegals to work for half the wages Americans work for, we will never be rid of them, and our economy is going to continue to soar out of hand.

I called about a piece of rental property a few days ago for my daughter. The guy was nice, but firm. He wanted $1200.00 a month for a house that two years ago would have rented for three hundred.

I had to ask him why he thought the property was worth that much. His answer? Because he can get it. Because the Hispanics were willing to pay any price for a place to live that did not require a background check. So, in essence, housing costs have soared here, at least rental property, and that could very well be the reason.

But, cost of living aside, the crime herre is getting to incredibly dangerous levels. People lock their doors during the day light hours. If they go out in the back yard, they lock and bolt the front door. Windows are closed against the cool evening breezes because some one will slit the screens, climb in throught the windows and like as not slit your throat.

And other than arm ourselves, there doesn't appear to be a damn thing we can do to combat this.

I'm almost certain that there isn't going to be much done in the way of writing or blogging until next year.

There's just so much to do, and so little time to get it done.

For instance, I still have two teenage grand daughters to buy gifts for.

Now what in blue blazes does one buy a teenage girl? I have no earthly clue.

They love music, but who? I mean is it Hawthorne Heights or Jay-Z? Do they listen to Beyonce or Carrie Underwood? And who is this Fergie? Isn't she that redheaded gal that was married to the Prince or some such? So now she sings? Okay, no music.

How about movies. You know , DVDs. They are too old for the little dancing penguins in Happy Feet, but too young for that lunatic in Saw ll. Most of the movies they want, I can't watch. They're either too bloody, too gory or just too stupid. Like that Clerks Two movie. So, okay, no movies.

Which brings me to clothes. What's in these days? Everyone seems to raging about those "hoodies" Hoodies? We used to call them sweatshirts. So now they have a new moniker and now they are unbelievably popular, not to mention outrageously expensive. Now how does that happen? Two years ago a hooded sweatshirt costs me eight bucks, now it is thirty and up? Are you kidding me? And how about those jeans. You know the ones with the holes ripped in them and the frayed hems and the ass out of them? Yeah those, the same ones we threw out two years ago. Now they are in and now they cost eighty buck a pair. Why? Why can't the kids just shove them away in the back of the closet and wait a year or two, they'll be big again. And they'll save themselves a ton of money.

Obviously, there is nothing new under the sun. What was old is new again.

I guess for those two girls, the old standby will have to do. Good old cash! They can then buy whatever they want and I don't have to watch their faces drop, and their eyes grow wide with horror at the Back Street Boys CD I bought them.

And who is K-Fed? Wasn't he Mr. Brittany Spears? How is he now a wrestler in the WWE?

Well, I do hope you and yours have a wonderful and joyous season and for the reader on your list this year, let me recommend a good book- Mine!! Dark Ridge.

The dreaded "F" word!
I was surfing around on the web the other day and thought I'd see if I could find the origins of the "F" word.
I found some interesting things. For instance, the word is supposedly an acronym variously rendered as:
Fornication Under Consent of the King
Fornication Under Charles the King
Fornication Under Crown of the King
Fornication under Christ, King
Forbidden Under Charter of the King (a sign posted on brothels closed by the Crown)
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
File Under Carnal Knowledge (how Scotland Yard marked rape files).

The two most common acronyms are: Fornication Under Consent of the King, and For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
Now, it might make sense that the first is correct. After all, maybe couple really did need the King's permission to procreate back in the day, but I kind a doubt it. People have a tendency to ummm, well, you know, f--k like rabbits and breed indiscriminately, so I seriously doubt that anyone actually awaited the King's consent.
The second refers to unlawful fornication, such as rape, child molestation and adultery. Such crimes were generally punished by the stocks and supposedly the perpetrators were forced to wear a sign around their necks bearing the acronym F--K, But, this too is a myth. Folks in stocks did indeed wear signs around their necks, but the For was not included. The sign would simply say, rape, adultery, stealing a cow or what have you, but not For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. That sign simply would have said, unlawful carnal knowledge.
So, obviously the word did not come to us from an acronym. So, where did it come from?
According to alt.usage.english FAQ,
[Fuck] is a very old word, recorded in English since the 15th century (few acronyms predate the 20th century), with cognates in other Germanic languages. The Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang (Random House, 1994, ISBN 0-394-54427-7) cites Middle Dutch fokken = "to thrust, copulate with"; Norwegian dialect fukka = "to copulate"; and Swedish dialect focka = "to strike, push, copulate" and fock = "penis". Although German ficken may enter the picture somehow, it is problematic in having e-grade, or umlaut, where all the others have o-grade or zero-grade of the vowel.
AHD1, following Pokorny, derived "feud", "fey", "fickle", "foe", and "fuck" from an Indo-European root peig2 = "hostile"; but AHD2 and AHD3 have dropped this connection for "fuck" and give no pre-Germanic etymon for it. Eric Partridge, in the 7th edition of Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English (Macmillan, 1970), said that "fuck" "almost certainly" comes from the Indo-European root *peuk- = "to prick" (which is the source of the English words "compunction", "expunge", "impugn", "poignant", "point", "pounce", "pugilist", "punctuate", "puncture", "pungent", and "pygmy"). Robert Claiborne, in The Roots of English: A Reader's Handbook of Word Origin (Times, 1989) agrees that this is "probably" the etymon. Problems with such theories include a distribution that suggests a North-Sea Germanic areal form rather than an inherited one; the murkiness of the phonetic relations; and the fact that no alleged cognate outside Germanic has sexual connotations.
So, it appears the word is German in it's origins. But, origins aside, let us consider the word itself.
Is it a verb? As in "Go f--k yourself?" Perhaps, because it certainly does describe an action.
But, it can also be a noun as in, "He is such a f--k." Which pretty much describes a lot of men.
It is also used as an adjective, as in , "That is so f--king cool." describing how cool a thing is.
Well, whatever the meaning, whatever the tense, whatever the usage, it is perhaps the single most widely used curse word in any language!
I myself have used it quite frequently, and colorfully.
I have a friend, Sandy Lender who coined a new phrase with it. For assholes she finds overbearing and stupid, it is f--ktards! Excellent word and certainly brings to mind an officious little bastard quite clearly.
Frankly, I am amazed at the people who use the word. Actors, of course, and professional wrestlers, football players, baseball players, basketball players, coaches on the sidelines certainly, but also, Senators, Congressmen, Vice Presidents, Presidents, ( and some even do it in the Oval office) professionals, lawyers, cops, harried housewives and husbands. Even little old ladies and gentlemen have let it fly from time to time.
Why? Because let's face it, it is beyond a doubt the only word that adequately describes any given situation at any given time.
So, why is is considered a curse word and the grand dame of all curse words at that?
I think I'll start a petition to have the word included in Webster's next year as a verb, adverb, adjective and noun. After all, if everybody is saying it, how bad can it actually be?
Have a great day, y'all!

Okay, somebody this morning on one of my writing groups just had to say something about Social Security. They simply could not leave well enough alone.
Well, okay then, here we go!
For years my ex husband drew social security disability, not because he was actually disabled, at least not physically, but he was a drunk, and he did do drugs, so I guess in a way he was disabled.
But, his disability was of his own making and choosing. I can't remember a single time that I actually saw anyone hold a gun to his head and make him take that first drink or swallow that first pill, or snort that first line. His 'disability' was of his own making, and yet he drew full disability from Social Security because of it.
Okay, so maybe alcoholism IS a disease, but no one will ever convince me it isn't a disease of choice, so if that's what's on your mind, forget it. You won't sway me.
Now, my mother, God rest her soul, suffered serious debilitating illnesses the last fifteen years of her life. She had a diseased heart, emphysema, (okay, I know that particular malady is pretty much self inflicted, because we all know how hard the tobacco companies tried to dissuade people from smoking in the thirties, right?) rheumatoid arthritis, and cancer, which finally killed her in Jan. of 2003.
For years we all tried to get Momma on disability because honestly, she couldn't even walk from the kitchen to the bathroom without gasping for breath, so she sure as hell couldn't work.
But you know what, time and again she was denied. And why? Not because she wasn't disabled in the eyes of the Social Security, but because she had never worked outside the home and hadn't paid any money into the system.
Are you kidding me? My ex husband drew full disability from the time he was like twenty-eight, and I can probably count on my one hand the number of years he actually worked, and here's this drunken drug addict drawing full disability, and my Mother can't get squat.
Now, there's a system that works, don't you think? Stupid.
And here is my next rant about that failing system. I've worked lots, and paid in lots, and yet I keep hearing that there probably won't be any money in the kitty when it comes time for me to draw.
Well, above seems a good reason for that. And how about the executives who retire with pensions of fifty, a hundred or hundreds of thousands of dollars a month, and yet these greedy bastards still whine about that measly social security check and their Medicaid. Seems kind of stupid to me.
So then why in the blue hell is everyone so against privatizing Social Security? I mean doesn't it make good sense to anyone?
Say Joe Blow is thirty years old, makes $75,000.00 a year and his wife Sally Blow makes $52,000.00 a year. They have three kids, a mortgage and the usual bills families generate over the course of a life time. Given the raises that sometimes compensate for the cost of living hikes, these guys are doing all right.
Why can't Joe and Sally open an account, which should be tax free, by the way, and each put maybe four or five hundred dollars a month into this interest bearing account. Say this account is set up to where the Blows can not touch it until they retire. There's their retirement money, which is a hell of a lot more than they're gonna get from Social Security anyway.
Now granted, this probably won't work for the poor folks of which there are a helluva lot more than rich folks. So, poor folks continue to pay SS tax, and they get to have a decent shot at living and eating and getting their medicine when they retire.
Someone needs to really fix this system, because as it is now, it just doesn't work!
And for God's sake, please don't get me started on the IR freaking S! Bloodsucking swine!!
Have a great day, y'all.

Christmas Song MEME:

This was passed on to me, and I'm passing it on to you!!

I've been tagged! I'm also a newbie at this process so I don't know exactly how to go about tagging someone else, but bear with me will you please. This MEME came to me from my blogger friend, Jeni Ertner, of the blog,"Down River Drivel" linked to mine .

The rules are simple: list (at least) five of your favorite Christmas songs -- and then tag (at least) five other of your blog friends to do the same on their sites.Here is my top 5 list as sung by everyone

Now, at my age remembering anything is a neat trick, so who knows how long it will take me to come up with five Christmas songs. Are there five Christmas songs? I'm sure there are, there has to be, right? Okay, so hmmm, .

1.Silent Night, of course. Hey it was easy to remember, they're doing that Pampers commercial on TV. Okay, so I cheated a wee bit, nobody said I couldn't get help!

2.Little Drummer Boy. I like this one because of the drumming and because my hubby is a drummer. All right, all right, and its a Christmas tune, okay?

3.Blue Christmas, by the King! Who in the last fifty years has listened to Christmas music and that wasn't played at one time?

4. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, a little light hearted ditty that hopefully doesn't give anyone any ideas. Especially my grand kids!

5.Oh Holy Night, but the one sung by Il Devo, that group Simon Cowell discovered. Those boys have the most phenomenal voices, it makes your heart hurt to hear them!

Okay there's mine, now, who to tag with this, MEME?

1.Dorothy Thompson of http://www.overthehillchick.blogspot.com

2.Jamieson Wolf of http://www.jamiesonwolf.blogspot.com

3.Laura Crawford of http://greetingsfromthepolebarn.blogspot.com

4.Marilyn Morris of http://a-story-tellers-world.blogspot.com

5.Sandy Lender of http://todaythedragonwins.blogspot.com

Pet Peeves

And boy do I have a few of those! Oh, I know, everybody does. For every single one of us there is some little thing that just drives us up the wall.
For me it is actually about a dozen or so, but I'll try to be as brief in my ranting as I can be.
Okay, my number one pet peeve is a lousy server! Nothing pisses me off more than to go to a popular restaurant, and have to stand in line for upwards of forty-five minutes and then get a server who doesn't know a Queso dip from a salsa!
For instance; Hubby and I went to our local C----i's a couple of weeks ago, on a Friday night. When we got there at around sixish, there was a line out the door. Hubby is not one to wait patiently for a table, but I told him we were waiting. So, I went in, had our name added to the list and took that little pager thingy they give you.
While we waited, I happened to notice there were several empty tables, and hubby took a stroll through the restaurant and discovered there were exactly twenty-two empty tables and booths all over the place.
Now, this didn't make a lick of sense since there was a line out the door and down the sidewalk of waiting patrons. So, hubby asked to speak to the manager who told him that most of the evening servers hadn't come in yet. Huh? On a Friday evening? Are you kidding me?
Okay, so after forty five minutes we get sat, and it is fully another fifteen minutes before our server graces us with her presence.
Now, by this time hubby is a bit tense, so he doesn't use the sweetest tone while ordering his sprite. He's driving, so I get my usual two Miller lite drafts.
Off she goes and after another fifteen minutes we begin to wonder if perhaps she's gotten lost somewhere along the way.
Finally, she shows up, with a coke and a margarita! Hmmm, not what we ordered. Hubby is getting tenser. She doesn't even apologize, just snatches the drinks up and stalks off.
I try to laugh it off, but hubby is really testy by now.
Okay, after another fifteen minutes, she comes back and while I can't be 100% certain, I am fairly sure that my Miller lite has morphed into a Bud light, but I'm cool.
"You ready to order?" she says, and hubby's reply?
"We were ready thirty minutes ago, where were you?"
No answer.
Okay, we order chips and Queso before dinner Then dinner, yes?
No! Dinner arrives a full forty minutes later along with the chips and Queso.
"You can take those back," hubby says quite crossly.
"You ordered them," came her tight lipped reply.
"Yes we did, as an APPETIZER!"
So, she grabs them up and stalks off again.
My CFS is luke warm, the gravy a congealed mess on top of the mound of cold mashed potatoes. But, not wanting to cause a scene I choke them down.
Not so hubby. He's a bit of a wimp when it comes to rare steaks. he doesn't want to see any red in the middle. So, when he cut into his steak and the blood oozed out onto the plate, he looked up at me and I could see the white blotches on his forehead signifying that someone was about to tote a cussing.
But who? Our server had disappeared again, and I was pretty sure she was watching us from some obscure corner, laughing.
Hubby grabs his plate and heads for the hostess station, and I kind of slump down in my seat. This is going to be bad.
After a lot of gesticulating with his hands, hubby comes back to the table. Ten minutes later our server reappears.
"Is there a problem?" she asks.
Hubby glares and I shake my head.
After another fifteen minutes, hubby's steak is returned by the manager, who stands over him while hubby cuts into it. It is, by the way, the same steak they had undercooked before. Now it was like shoe leather and hubby pushes his plate away, and asks for the check.
"I'm sorry. I'll take the steak off your bill," the manager says.
"Don't bother," hubby replies. "But, I do have a tip for our server."
I hurry and stand up, cutting him off. I know what he's going to say. But, it's too late. The server walks up to the table and hubby looks her in the eye and says, "We do have a nice tip for you and your efforts."
"Why thank you," she gushed sweetly.
"Find a new line of work," hubby growls and stalks off.
Find a new line of work indeed. Some folks can be servers, some can't, you know?

Okay, something new. I decided, or rather hubby decided, that I should do some advertising for my quilts and try to get some orders so I can make some money doing what I really love doing.
Of course, everyone who knows me, knows that quilting is my second love, behind writing. But, alas, the money flow from the writing is a mere trickle at best so.....
I make quilts. Very nice ones, I might add, and I do them all myself. I cut them out, I piece them, and I hand quilt everyone of them. I like hand quilting better than machine quilting because ,to me at least,a quilt ain't a quilt if you machine quilt it. I like old fashioned. I like the look and feel of hand quilted pieces, and I think they are a more personal gift than something that has been machine quilted. But, that's just me. A lot of folks prefer machine quilting because; number 1, it's faster, and number 2, machine quilted pieces seem to hold up better when washed repeatedly.
Still, all of my quilts are hand quilted,and so far not a one of them has failed the washing machine challenge.
I made the one pictured above two years ago. I also made the shams and the bolster and the little envelope pillow. The pattern is called "Off With Their Heads" and I got the idea and the pattern from one of Alex Anderson's Simply Quilts shows.
I get a lot of my patterns from books though and have about a hundred of them, books that is.
My all time favorite Christmas gift my husband ever got me is a quilt book that has quilt patterns from the 1700's to the 1950's. It's been around a pretty good while.
So, okay, I guess maybe I'll see if I can do some advertising for some custom quilts.
The problem with the whole thing is simply this. If I make a quilt, and hand quilt it, then I am going to put a high price on it. I have to. my time is valuable, to me anyway.
It takes me anywhere from six weeks to three months to complete a quilt, depending on the size and complication of the design.
So, pricing tends to be on the high side.
And that tends to put people off, who truly believe that those quilts they buy at Penny's or Belks are actually handmade and hand quilted.
They can buy a queen sized quilt for anywhere form $49.00 to $129.00. And I say bully for you, then buy one. But, I guarantee you they are not handmade. They are made in a factory oversees somewhere, and while hands certainly did thread the machines and set up the pattern, that's as close to handmade as those things get. Still, they convince themselves they have a real handmade quilt for $49.00.
All I can say is, Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware. And remember, you get what you pay for.
No, I believe my pricing will cause me to have few sales, as people always want something for nothing, or as little as they can get by with.
Well, sorry, my time is worth something, and I will set my prices in stone. No haggling, no discounts, except to close friends.
So below is the prices I will advertise for custom made hand crafted quilts.

Twin ............ $100.00
Full............... $150.00
Queen.......... $200.00
King.............. $300.00

For special designs, like the Cathedral windows and Mariner's Compass quilts, the price will be doubled on all but the King size. Kings will cost $1000.00. A bargain at twice the price as anyone who has ever made one knows.
So, there it is. I seriously doubt I'll get any takers, because like I said, people always want something for nothing. But, regardless, I will continue to make them and put them away or give them as gifts to my family and dearest friends.

"Tis the season to be jolly" Says who? Tis the season for rude jerks who try there damndest to ruin things for everyone.
For example, I drove into my local Wally world parking lot yesterday afternoon. Now first of all, any idiot who goes to Walmart on a Sunday afternoon is just begging for trouble, but,I had some shopping to do so like a dummy off I went.
After driving around the fifteen acre parking lot for ten minutes, I finally found a parking space pretty close to the county line, and sadly Walmart does not have trams to transport their patrons from the back forty to the front door. So, I had to hoof it the mile or so to the front door.
Inside was a scramble to grab a buggy. There weren't any in that lovely line up at the front door waiting for me like there usually is, so I had to keep my eyes on the checkout lines to see which sweet, considerate soul would actually carry his one bag with the loaf of bread in it to the carry by hand, and then rush over to grab the buggy before someone else scooped it up.
It took me three tries, but I finally nailed one, and of course it was the one buggy in the whole store that had a wobbly front wheel and veered to right hard while I'm pushing it.
So, one by one, I traversed the aisles, which took less time than normal because the shelves were virtually empty. Walmart has this annoying habit of stocking their shelves at night, so of course by mid afternoon the shelves are bare.
With my limited amount of booty I proceeded to the checkout and tried in vain to find a line that had less than twelve people in it. I finally found one. You know those twenty items or less checkouts? Right! There were three people in this line. Me and two others. I had three items, the other two people had upwards of the contents of a grocery store in their buggies.
The lady in front of me turned around and smiled and I looked pointedly at the twenty items or less sign and she just shrugged her shoulders as if to say, "Sorry about that."
So, lady number one has paid and is off, and lady number two proceeds to unload her buggy and half of items onto the conveyor belt. The cashier looks apologetically at me, then shakes her head.
Some twenty minutes later, lady number two is all rung up and then the fun begins. Her check, after taking a few more minutes to write out is spit back at her by the machine. Not to be deterred, she insists the cashier tries it again. She knows there's money in the account, she still has checks in the book! Lord love a duck! Okay, second time refused. Let me try this she says, dragging out a plastic card that looks for all the world like a debit card. it is. Now, if I'm not mistaken, if your check is spit out, it's kind a doubtful that your debit card is gonna work. And it didn't.
Still undaunted, she pulls out a succession of credit cards; all of which are denied. Finally in exasperation, she pulls out a wad of bills from her wallet and pays cash. Now why in the gay hell didn't she do that to begin with?
Finally I get to pay for my miserable little three items and make my escape.
And I"m lost. Where did I park that car? So now I'm wandering aimlessly up and down aisle after aisle trying to find my car and wondering why it is so difficult to find a black car?
Finally, after about a half hour I find it, and all I can do is just stand there and laugh like a lunatic. I know the people who were walking by must have thought I'd lost my mind, laughing like some escapee from the nut house, but honestly after my experience in the store, this just made my day.
Parked on my left, the driver's side, is a huge Ford dually, that is pulled in almost diagonally and so close to my car that Twiggy would have been hard pressed to get in the door!
I wanted very much to leave a note on this guys truck windshield asking him if he always bitch parked or if he was just an inconsiderate asshole during the holidays.
Merry Christmas y'all!!